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Healthy Communication

Healthy Speech-bubble
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Healthy communication involves numerous strategies to make sure that partner's complaints are heard and addressed. This begins with behavior description, to specify what behavior annoyed us. Using I statements to describe feelings, along with XYZ statements helps to communicate more accurately. Active listening is important to understand our partners and let them know we comprehend their feelings and complaints.
4 KEY FACTS
Behavior description
Behavior Described on D

Behavior description not only tells our partners what's on our minds, but it focuses the conversation on discrete, manageable behaviors that can be changed. Behavior description identifies as plainly and concretely as possible, a specific behavior that annoyed us.

I-statements
Using I-statements with Eyes to express feelings

I-statements start with "I" and then describe a distinct emotional reaction. They help us to identify our own feelings and acknowledge them; they specify feelings and convey them to our partner.

XYZ statements
XYZ statement explaining problem

A way to communicate more clearly and accurately is to put them into XYZ statements. "When you do X in situation Y, I feel Z."

Active listening
Actively Listening and paraphrasing

Active listening describes accurately understanding what our partners are trying to say, and then communicating our attention and comprehension to the partner. This includes paraphrasing what was said to us. Furthermore, active listening includes perception checking, where someone might ask, "You seem upset by what I said, is that right?"

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